The Ice is Getting Thinner
by QuintossentialGray
Summary: The five stages of grief are an important part of the coping process involved in losing a loved one.Nathan and Peter are going on a journey to find the final stage, acceptance. Nate/Peter vol. 5 and all it entails. Post 4.10 my take on Thanksgiving.Slash


He'd never tasted something as completely satisfying to the palette as the rich pumpkin pie with just a dollop of vanilla bean ice cream placed delicately on top of it. Nathan had the same pie and the same ice cream at every Thanksgiving since he was about seven years old, but at that moment everything was an entirely new experience. Because the person who really scraped the last remnant of dessert from the plate was not Nathan Petrelli and he didn't have a means to cheat his own limited memories by using the same fork or plate he may have used in years past. Peter watched carefully as the unintentional facsimile took the last bite of pie. It didn't look any different than the way Nathan always ate his pie, and that only served to make Peter just a little sadder deep down in his sub-conscious. Why couldn't he obviously _not_ act exactly like his brother and make this easier to stomach?

"I could find Hiro. We could go back to that day and I could keep him—you, from ever going in there to face Sylar. It wouldn't be hard Nathan." Peter wondered if he could make that happen without killing Hiro in the process from the strain of what his ability had been doing to the man's brain and body. Nathan set the fork down and wiped his lips carefully with the folded over cloth napkin.

"You're looking at me like ma did before she left, Pete. I don't want to change things that have already happened—you've told me how many ways that can go wrong before. Sylar's mind is gone, that's what Matt said, so as long as I'm careful with the abilities then why can't we make this try to work?" Nathan knew this wasn't true at all. There was something awful boiling up underneath the surface even as he spoke at the table. He knew that in that hospital room he received something that he'd been without for weeks.

"I'm sorry Nathan I just…I honestly thought I'd won this time. I thought that for once, I beat him and it was finally over. No he just—he just keeps finding ways to affect my life and it pisses me off. And then mom was the one who lied to me for weeks about you? I thought with dad being really gone this time that maybe, just maybe, she'd actually remember how to act like a human being again. That she could respect me enough to tell me the truth instead of just choosing to lie to me and treating me like I'm a kid who couldn't handle it." His voice was raised as his fingers curled around what had to be his fourth glass of red wine. Normally it wasn't Peter who was the one who carried on the Petrelli Thanksgiving tradition of getting a little drunk during dinner, but as soon as he thought about Angela he just couldn't help himself. She did nothing but lie to him, and to the man she forced to be a stand-in for her dead son.

Nathan stood up slowly, his gaze averted to Angela's abandoned place-setting as his eyes narrowed at the thought of her office visits.

"I'm angry at her for not trusting you to handle this—you're a lot stronger than people give you credit for Peter. But if you would have seen the way she would come to my office bearing little tokens from Nathan's—from my past, you would have been sickened. I knew something was wrong almost from the very beginning, and she started to make me think I was going crazy. If Sylar's mind was gone from me then she should have told me what happened so I could have some time. If it was just her, then I doubt I'd want to accept it, but there's you Pete. I feel just as much as Nathan as I think I ever could and I would have wanted to be strong and go along with it for you." Now his eyes looked directly into those of the man who felt like his real little brother. Even as he spoke he felt the person he really once was at one point starting to fight. Sylar was inside of him again and he wanted to reassert control after having been gone for so long. Seeing how his words helped Peter even just a little made the inevitable all the more painful within Nathan.

"I'll be right back, maybe if you wanted to we could…do something I remember us doing whenever they were gone and it was just us alone. You and I can figure this out together." He offered a small smile as he moved past the table and down the hall into the bathroom. Peter turned slightly to watch Nathan's form disappear behind the closed bathroom door. He sat down at the table and took another drink of wine as he quietly contemplated. Funny how not even this much wine even gave him a slight buzz, but maybe his mind was too preoccupied to worry about the increasing level of alcohol in his bloodstream. Peter couldn't deny that until he saw the body on ice, that he completely believed this man was Nathan. It wasn't fair what happened and this remnant of Nathan needed him so desperately. Peter drained the glass of wine and stood up, and walked down the hall and into the bedroom.

Water droplets poured off of Nathan's chin and jaw as he stared at himself in the mirror over the sink. A slight moment of hesitation followed before he opened his eyes again. At this point, there was no way to know if he would see his form or another in the reflection of the mirror. When he saw that there was no change in his face or voice he muttered softly to the mirror's image.

"I know what you want, but please let me just have this one night with him. That's all I ask…I know you're stronger and this is your body, but I didn't do this to you. Peter didn't know either so please if you take it back—keep that in mind." Nothing happened, no involuntary smirk or flicker in his eyes as he watched his reflection carefully. He sighed softly and dried his face off before he left the bathroom and walked into Peter's room. He was already sitting on the bed with his shoes kicked off and left next to his small dresser. Nathan carefully walked over and sat down next to Peter. His hand reached out to lightly grasp Peter's knee as they sat there.

"I'm so afraid that he's all you're ever going to see in me, especially tonight." From Peter's knee, Nathan's hand moved up to lightly touch Peter's arm. A torrent of images and memories flooded Nathan's consciousness—it was going to hurt so much when he was gone because he knew that he loved his brother so much from all they've been through together. All the times they'd worked to save each other in this life made Nathan feel so proud of Peter. Something told him that even after it all fell apart and Sylar resumed control—his brother would be alright. Peter's hand slid up to meet Nathan's own—fingers interlaced as Peter tried to prove to Nathan that just wasn't true. He leaned in and kissed Nathan's lips softly, his free hand strayed to run through Nathan's hair. It all felt so right to him as Nathan kissed him back. Both men's mouths remained locked to each other as Nathan slid his hands underneath Peter's polo—pulling it up and breaking their kiss to take it off.

Peter made no move to stop him as he did; instead he worked to remove Nathan's belt and trousers with an eagerness that could match any of the other times they had done this. When Nathan's pants were a rumpled pile on the floor, Peter bent down to drag his lips lovingly over Nathan's stomach. It was stunning to him how there wasn't a single imperfection out of place—he'd always wondered if shape-shifting really was so effective. Nathan groaned softly and ran his fingers through Peter's hair a few times before he sat up and removed Peter's pants and then his boxers as well. Both men stopped and looked at each other for a moment. They each questioned if this is what they should be doing—would it really be the same as it had been in years past?

"I…I love you Nathan. I miss you, but this can work." A crooked grin creased those lips as he leaned in for another kiss. In the process, he pulled Nathan to lay down on his bed with him—his hand moved to carefully tug Nathan's Ralph Lauren boxer-briefs past his hips and far enough so Nathan himself could wriggle out of them entirely while they kissed. Nathan's hand slid to rest along the curve of Peter's hip as he rolled them over so Peter faced the mattress. All Peter could feel was a rush of blood and a tingling throughout his body as he started to grip the sheets in preparation. He gasped softly when he felt Nathan's teeth nibbling gently at his earlobe—that must have been from a memory that Nathan felt of the two of them together because that was his brother's way to signal he was about to begin.

"I love you Peter, I always will." Nathan straddled Peter carefully and slid himself inside of his brother's entrance with a groan. Once he slid in a little more he began to pump his hips anxiously. At any moment he felt that he could lose control and this would be the last thing he'd ever do. His hips rocked and he thrust at a slow rate inside of Peter—trying to carefully build momentum. He panted near the shell of Peter's ear as his thrusts became deeper and more punctuated. Once his momentum was steady, Nathan planted kisses along Peter's neck—feeling his brother twitch with each one.

"Unngg…You know that right Pete? You know how much I'm always going to love you—no matter what happens. You've meant everything to me, and if I had to die so you could go on… then that's something I'm willing to a-accept. I know you're going to keep doing so much good with your gift—save a lot of people who wouldn't have had a chance otherwise." Peter's mattress shifted up and down with each motion of Nathan's hips. It was so hard to hear Nathan talking like this—as if he'd already given up.

"N-Nathan…no you, can't leave me…I…ohhh…I-I need you still. You're my brother; you're all I have now. I can't say goodbye to you, I thought I could, but I can't…please fight it." His voice was breaking up as he sighed out short moans of pleasure from the way in which Nathan was stimulating him. It was such a dichotomy of sensations as waves of guilt and sorrow crashed into a growing physical pleasure. Nathan sped up his thrusts as he listened to Peter groan and pant underneath him. Hearing the cracks in Peter's brave façade from before made Nathan be sure that if he would have been able to see into Peter's eyes they would be glossy with fresh tears.

"I-I know you're going to be alright Pete…you're so strong, and you can find the strength to keep ma safe—no matter what she's done. It was done out of fear and misplaced devotion a-and she's in danger when this breaks through, do you understand me?" Nathan's breathing intensified suddenly as he groaned loudly—his fingers dug into Peter's body as he slammed into him again and again. Another line of kisses placed around the nape of Peter's neck. Peter felt the tell-tale pulse and tensing of Nathan's thighs as he braced himself for so many things—for the climax, and for the inevitable end of the lie. All they could do now was enjoy this single moment of pleasure as it erupted over the both of them. Nathan's release made him howl out with so much pent-up emotion and frustration as Peter writhed and shivered under him. The sound of heavy breathing was all that could be heard as Nathan leaned down and kissed Peter's neck once more. The fingers that were so tightly gripped onto his bed's sheets had started to relax again—hands rubbing over the soft cool material as he calmed his breathing again. He closed his eyes and reveled in every twitch of his own thighs, and the way his own erect cock leaked and throbbed against his leg and the mattress he lay upon. Nathan slid out of Peter and collapsed next to Peter to try and catch his own breath. For a few moments, no words were exchanged as the moment began to fade away and become a memory in and of itself that would help Peter say goodbye.

"A-are…are you okay Nate? That was, better than it's been in a long time. You were incredible." He smiled softly as the pillow between them continued to obstruct his view of Nathan while they both recovered. For his reply, a hand stretched out and ran its nimble fingers through Peter's hair softly.

"I don't care that you didn't know Pete, you practically handed my life over to them the way you handed his life over to me. I'll tell mommy you love her." The hand lifted and with a curl of two fingers, Peter's neck whipped sharply to the right to bend at an unnatural angle as his sudden gasp was interrupted by the snapping of vertebrae. Peter's eyes were fixed and staring toward the ceiling as Sylar got up from the bed. He took a moment to regard the third member of the Petrelli family he'd been responsible for the death of before he moved around to slip Nathan's too-short pants back on. Once he was fully dressed he ran a crackling bolt of electricity over his fingers and smirked before he left Peter's apartment to go and hunt down Angela.

At the time when earlier in the day, Peter had insisted on going with Nathan he didn't know that that one touch would later save his life. Peter's head swung back around not a moment after Sylar had attempted to kill him once more. He coughed and sat up—stunned at what he just did but then he realized that from that single touch he now held all of the abilities the erstwhile killer did. Now that the playing field was level he could end this once and for all as he jumped out of bed to put his clothes on. Sylar had stolen one of Peter's hoodies and left the discarded blue shirt Nathan had been wearing. Peter reached down and picked it up—he held it close to his chest and felt his resolve firm inside of him. With the truth finally out in the open--It was time that Sylar paid for Nathan's death.

"Goodbye Nathan."


End file.
